So Scared And Alone

A little girl stands in the middle of her bedroom, her father has just kissed her goodnight and tells her to get into bed. So she does, then her father heads toward the door, turns around and tells her he loves her. He turns off the light and shuts the door.

It is pitch black and the little girl feels so alone, she starts to get really scared and calls out for her daddy. He responds that he is still there and don’t be afraid, “It will be ok, I will see you in the morning.” She knows he is there but still has doubts. Is it really ok? What if morning never comes? What if something bad happens and he doesn’t know until it is too late?

So many questions and fears brought on by a lack of faith in herself and in her father. She gets out of bed and runs toward where she thinks the light switch us. As she turns on her bedroom light, the room is radiating with light again and she can see that her fears were unfounded. Just then the bedroom door opens, her father smiles at her and scoops her up in his arms. “Silly little girl, I told you I would be here, I love you too much to ever leave you completely alone.”

In this time in my life, I feel like this little girl. I feel alone and unsure of what to do. So many hours I spend feeling like I am in the dark. Every morning I struggle to get out of bed, I grasp for anything to give me a reason to get out of bed. My prayers feel like they are falling on deaf ears. I want so desperately to know He is there, I crave to feel the same spirit that I felt when my health was bad. I desire to know what He wants me to do.

Maybe this is another test to see if I will persevere or maybe I need to listen a little more for the still small voice. I do grow weary with not understanding. I try to fill my days with things that invite the spirit, but still feel nothing. I am at a loss, I want to do more than endure each day, I want to love each day I live.

I want to hear, “Silly little girl, I told you I would be here, I love you too much to ever leave you completely alone.” Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5

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