I started this post on Friday but finished it on Sunday.
I awoke this morning, I had a good restful nights sleep and my mind was clear. I thought wow. I felt rested. Even when I moved my back hardly hurt at all. I hadn’t been awoken by my cat needing to play. Then I thought about why my mind was so clear.
It is Friday and this is the day the Savior was crucified. Then I understood why my mind was so clear. As He died on the cross, we were cut off from any communication from Him. I began to focus on His sacrifice for me.
I knew today I would be baking but this day would be spent thinking of Him while I hopefully stayed in tune with the humility I was feeling at this moment.
I put 12 eggs onto the stove to boil, each egg would represent the 12 disciples. I would color the eggs differently. The eggs themselves would represent the scripture, Matthew 23:37.
The day was reverent and I prepped for the dinner and my mind was on the Saviors sacrifice and then I thought what if Bremerton has a total blackout, that would be a little too real for me. Thankfully it didn’t.
Saturday came and again the pain in my back was minimal and I got up feeling well rested. I set about putting the final prep work of preparing the meal and getting everything done. I was hoping it would continue to be a day of reverance but with so many people and children, I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t continue to be so. People began to show up and I rushed around trying to put the final touches on everything.
A gentle prompting that it was a joyous day, a day of loving and being loved and this was just a pit stop and it was ok to celebrate, the atmosphere need not be a somber one. I didn’t feel as if my family was taking anything from me or the mood I had set. I thought about the Savior throughout the day and in my heart I felt gratitude for the abundance in my blessings. Everyone enjoyed each others company, we laughed, we talked but most of all we loved.
As I went to bed, I felt truly blessed.
The next day was Easter, I got up excited to watch General Conference and to catch up on what I had missed from Saturdays sessions. I watched intently and like many other times, it seemed that each talk was prepared just for me.
I stopped to think how it applies to each person even the people I didn’t know. I felt a sudden kinship to mankind. We are all taking this journey together. Then the speakers kept talking about the “covenant path”. It dawned on me this path I keep seeing was a covenant path I was already on. This was truly profound, it meant a lot! Not was it just a phrase but it took on a more deep personal meaning for me. It made me feel as if the dirt path had become a path paved with gold.
As the day went on and I continued to be immersed in this glorious spiritual feast, I suddenly was overcome with a physical upheaval of some form of illness that was almost instant. I could hardly stand and made my way to my room to just lie in bed and writhe in pain. I thought I was going to die. I kept saying in my mind Father, please my time is not yet, there is still things I must do first. Even though I probably wasn’t as close to dying as it felt, It sure scared me. Then I remembered the scripture of the day I had read in the morning on my widget
I knew what that meant and although I don’t look forward to reconciling with my brother, lololol I knew it didn’t mean that I had to do it right then, the day would come that I would have to. So in answer to my pleading I knew I would be ok but I was still sicker than a dog and just had to wait it out.
But like my Savior patience, long suffering, charity and waiting on the Lord were some of the virtues I was still learning. I am pleased and greatful to be a happy student.