Throught my life in raising kids, bad marriages, trials etc. My life always seemed like a chaotic mess. I would make lists of things to do always trying to find a sense of accomplishment but never feeling like I quite made the Dean’s list, so to speak.
With my children grown and gone and no husband or other outside stimuli to take up my time except for my cat, I faced another trial of wondering, “Well now what?” I really did not know what to do with myself, and again I was wandering around trying to make my way on my own just trying to reinvent myself and clear my own path. I would make my to do lists, plan for a future of uncertainty but still feeling unaccomplished.
This about drove me nuts! Everything I felt inside seemed out of balance until the day I knelt in prayer and told God that I was ready to submit to Him, I just needed direction. I was so tired of wandering aimlessly in this wilderness alone.
On that day God became my co-pilot. A copilot assists the pilot during flight, including handling the radio communications, navigation, and working with the pilot to complete the many checklists involved with flying an aircraft. The pilot may turn control over to the copilot even if the pilot doesn’t leave the cockpit.
Every day before I turn the day over to Him there is a certain protocol that I adhere to religiously. I kneel in prayer, then my cat has to have his playtime of about 15 to 20 min. this causes me a lot of joy and laughter, which is a great way to start the day. I share the Gospel on facebook, I then read the scriptures for 20 min. After doing this I am ready to turn my day over to Him.
I have to say this has been somewhat miraculous for me. In the pit of my stomach is the point of entry for all things whether good or bad to flow. If it is bad, my stomach knots up but if it is good, it is calming and relaxed.
This is how I judge if what I am doing has Gods’ approval or not. Even the things I write about has to have a certain flow to it. I may be able to use imagery and wording to express myself, but the flow of all my words comes from my Heavenly Father.
Many times I have decided to write about something that just seemed to be chaotic, no rhyme or reason, having no real point to it. They often get tossed aside because I get frustrated. But many times I have awoken sometimes 1 a.m. with thoughts that flow through me. I grab my tablet and begin to convey what those thoughts are.
My blogging has been an outlet for me to help keep me in sync with life and my relationship with my Heavenly Father of which I feel truly blessed. I have a few people say they felt bad for me cause I am alone. It is true I live alone but am never lonely. I am at peace and for once in all my 64 years I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been! I hope the day will come that more people can feel this same joy and completeness that can be theirs too if they would only allow God to be their co-pilot.